Almost Kind-of Counts, Right?

Dear Secret Blogiary,

I sort of had a threesome once.

Over at Toy With Me, there is a lively discussion about the pros and cons of a MMF versus a MFF threesome. The Queen of Fucking Everything got it all started with this post. And then her husband responded with this. I have to say I agree that a MMF has got to be the way to go. It seems more naughty…more thrilling…more thrusty.

Mister W and I have been together for 15 years and we when started dating we were just punk teenagers without a clue. At 19 and 18, we thought, as many teen-almost-adults do, that we couldn’t go wrong with anything we did. So at 18, Mister W moved out of his father’s house and rented a small trailer with his buddy John.

John was Mister’s almost exact physical opposite. Mister: tall, blond, kind of nerdy. John: Short, dark and buff. Personality-wise they were pretty similar which is why I was attracted to both of them although I favored Mister’s looks over John’s.

John had a girlfriend and the four of us would often have dinners and get togethers at the squalid trailer (it really was squalid but how cool was it to be all like, “I’m going to my boyfriend’s place!). Being young men, Mister and John did not invest much in furniture or decorating. They had a second hand table in the kitchen; they bought the cheapest set of Cornell dishware and a sauce pan. The each bought used mattresses (skeevy) which I immediately purchased waterproof/allergy protective sleeves for. They used baskets and boxes for dressers and aside from a kick-ass stereo, T.V. and VCR completely ignored the need for any other required furniture: no sofa, no chairs, not even a stool! But being teenagers, sitting on the floor didn’t bother us in the least.

As it happened John and his girlfriend had one of those relationships where if they weren’t broken up they weren’t happy. I often spent much of my time alone with both the guys and they doted on me-I cooked, cleaned and took care of them so they had better of doted!

One particular night, after John and his girlfriend had broken up again, he was feeling depressed and sad. I took it upon myself to cheer him up. I made a nice dinner of hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. We had a picnic on the living room floor and listened to some music.

As it got later, we decided to watch a movie and we pulled Mister’s mattress out into the living room so we could get comfortable. And that, my friends, is the start of my almost nearly oh-so-close threesome.

The three of us snuggled on our makeshift couch: Mister on one side, John on the other. At 19, I thought I was pretty awesome and I began very quietly and subtly fondling Mister. Nothing porno-style, just small little caresses letting him know I was interested in maybe later on taking care of some business.

John had obviously noticed and made a snarky remark about how lucky Mister was to have me willing to take care of him.

Very politely and innocently, I turned to John and said, “Sweetie, I can take care of both of you.”

John looked over my head at Mister and raised his eyebrow. Then, very boldly, reached out and started to caress my neck and when Mister didn’t say anything, went lower. Mister rolled me over so that I was facing John and then Mister began kissing my neck and running his hands up and down.

I was in shock…in heaven…in disbelief. I completely didn’t think that Mister would be so good at sharing. We played and touched and kissed…let me rephrase that I played and touched and kissed both of them. They individually played and touched and kissed me. If Mister was touching down below, then John was above. Then, like tag-team wrestlers they’d switch out, swiftly changing positions so that neither of them touched the other.

Their soul focus was on me and my pleasure and pleasure me they did with hands and mouths but it stopped there. I was allowed only to caress them. I made one motion to move so that I could offer Mister Fellatio, but he stopped me, grabbing my shoulders and holding me against him while John suckled my nipples.

As if through some unspoken communication between the two of them, they never took it to the ultimate culmination. And even though I was clearly in favor of it, there wasn’t an iota of penetration.. We spent all night together. They each brought me off, we’d fall asleep, wake-up disorientated, then reach out and begin touching again. And while at the time I thought it for the best, now, I wish we had gone farther

The next morning, Mister was the only one who had to go to work. He kissed me rolled me over to face John and left for the day. John pounced on the opportunity Mister presented him but after just a few moments of his hands roaming upon me, I stopped him.

It was one thing for John to touch me when Mister was there, but with him gone, it felt like cheating. John rolled over, clearly frustrated, told me I was right to stop him and crawled from the bed.

So that’s how I almost had a threesome but despite the fact that three of us were in a bed together and intimacy was being shared, I still don’t consider that encounter a true threesome as 1) there wasn’t any actual sex; 2) because Mister and John did not interact with each other; and 3) I was the only person in the bed that night that got off.

At this point, I can't say I'd like to try for another threesome. I think that I am much more modest now than I once used to be. And I don't know anyone right now that I'd trust enough to share that sort of experience with, male or female.