It's a lack of time management that causes these things to happen.

Dear Secret Blogiary,

I haven’t been as attentive as I would have liked and truly – though I am sure you have heard this before – it isn’t you, it’s me. I have been, well, occupied with going crazy. November through January is always a rough time for me in terms of blogging.

First, of course, there is NaNoWriMo, which, by the way I won for the second year in a row. I hated the end result, but I finished and while I think the story has a good premise, I do not think I executed it well. Honestly, now that I have two months between us, I can tell you that the story was possibly some of the worst written drivel I have ever written. Which, although harsh, is true and good, because without being able to recognize the bad in what I write, how will I ever improve?

NaNo also lead Mister W and I on some very long and deep conversations about the meaning of my life and where I want it to go. Clearly, if you recall, I have been displeased… Hell, downright miserable with my job and Mister W has been nothing but encouraging me to follow my dream of writing full time. So I have been playing with story ideas and characters…we’ll see what happens in the coming months.

NaNoWriMo gave way to the holiday season when I am in my personal happy place. I love the holiday season. I take pleasure in everything: songs, food, gifts. And this year I threw myself into making quite a number of handmade gifts, namely crochet and food items. Between baking and wrapping, trimming and drinking my spiked eggnog, I didn’t have much time at all to think of you. I lurked on a few other sites like an innocent peeping Tom, but I didn’t have much to say, so I kept everything hush-hush.

December was also a time for family and I had a houseful. Again, I was in my element because I take great pleasure in entertaining and making people feel welcome, happy and pampered.

Big Sis and Little Sis took much of my time as well, not that I am complaining. Every moment spent with the Girls is good. Board games, Munchkin, new Wii games and scooters kept us busy.

Crafting has also been a big distracter! I got a loom for Christmas so I have been spending time learning how to weave! So fun! With the little taste I got from the table top loom I am eager to move on to a larger floor loom and then…Who knows!? Maybe a spinning wheel and a few alpacas!



My Beka Loom

My crochet has also brought in a bit of money. After a few of my colleagues saw a scarf and hat I made for myself, I received a few requests for scarves, hats and baby blankets. As in people want to give me money to make something for them. Give me money to do something I love to do!! What is that saying? You know, about doing something you love? Well, let me tell you, Mister W is keen on that idea. As much as he is encouraging me to write, he is also pushing me to sell my skills. He doesn’t even blink anymore when I bring home a new skein of yarn!

So that’s what I have been up to. Now it is a new year. My inkwell is full and I have a brand new sheet of ecru parchment, shiny and crisp just waiting to absorb my thoughts and experiences, my joy and my sadness.

Dear Mom

Dear Secret Blogiary,

I had an interesting encounter while I was visiting my mother tonight. And it was bugging me something fierce...not enough to talk to her about it (because as I might have mentioned, I am really not fond of confrontation), but I was bothered enough that I wrote a letter to her, one that she will probably never read. It did accomplish its mission though, for once I wrote it, I felt better.

Dear Mom,

Just because I don’t like something you do, doesn’t mean I’m being contrary.

I don’t like the movies you do. I’m sorry. I haven’t been into mainstream Hollywood for a really long time. When? You ask. Well, around the time that Hollywood just kept recycling garbage and actors like Jim Carey and Adam Sandler became popular. Movies like Wild Hogs destroy my faith in humanity. I am tired of actors thinking that because they are famous they can behave any way they want and get away with it. They have a moral obligation to society to model exemplary behavior because so many of our youth look up to them. Therefore, I boycott a great many movies. I will not give my money to see a movie starring, produced or directed by such people.

And yes, as I have told you before, I am anti-CGI, so please stop asking me to watch Avatar or any other movie with excessive amounts of CGI. George Lucas killed it for me. Too many have misused the technology just because they could, not because it would enhance the movie. And please I won’t even discuss the rash outbreak of 3-D movies that have no right to be 3-D. And let’s clarify another point: just because I don’t like sappy WE T.V. movies does not mean I am not in touch with my emotions it just means I have no tolerance for “women are victims” movies.

Mom, don’t get mad, but I also don’t watch T.V. all that much either and certainly not ghost hunters or UFO hunters or any other paranormal show nor do I appreciate you letting Little Sis watch shows like that, especially since she then comes home and has nightmares about ghosts taking her away.

T.V. comedies are not funny to me.

Reality T.V. is anything but.

Fox News has no concept of “fair and balanced.”

Mom, please keep in mind that I don’t ever get pissy at you when I suggest a movie that you are uninterested in, or a book or a TV show for that matter. I say “okay” and move on with it. But when I say I am not interested in something you like you go out of your way to inform me that I am being contrary, difficult and elitist.

And you’re absolutely right about how I don’t like going to your house. Think about that though, I have never been to your house when the TV wasn’t on. And there isn’t really anything for me to do there. When I try to bring something to do, I get scolded for not socializing and being grumpy, but it is hard to socialize over Glenn Beck.

Here’s what I like to do: I like to read books. I like to work on craft projects with the girls. I like to play board games. I like to spend time with my girls looking at them, not at a T.V. screen. If that makes me elitist and difficult, well, I will just have to accept that label.

Think back, Mom, way back, did I ever once beg you to watch a movie with me? If I did I can’t recall it, but I can recall all the times I begged you to play a game with me or read me a story and I was put off with the claim that you were too tired. I don’t blame you for that, I know you were working, I know money was tight, but the age difference between my siblings often left me by myself so I made do.

I guess the point I am trying to make, Mom, is that I like things you don’t and you like things I don’t. And that’s okay. Just because were different does not mean I love you less or that I am deliberately trying to hurt your feelings. Please stop being so sensitive. I know that you have always yearned to have with me the type of relationship that you had with Grandmother. But you have to admit, we have never had that type of relationship. You and Grandmother were closer in age and liked the exact same things. With only 17 years separating you and your mom you were able to be friends. You could talk to Grandmother in a way that I cannot talk to you. We have over thirty years between us and I have never felt anything but a mother-daughter relationship with you.

I am just me.

You should be proud of me for my moral convictions especially since you were the one who helped  instill them. You should rejoice that I am not mindlessly brainwashed by technology or messages about women that contradict how you raised me. You should be thrilled that I demand more from my entertainment than contrived drivel. And you should be overjoyed that I don’t just believe what I see and hear on the news, that I look for my own answers. You should love that I am raising my children as you raised me: with morals, honesty, and integrity.

Hey! Is anyone out there?

Dear Secret Blogiary,

Starting a blog is a sure sign one wishes to communicate with the outside world. In my case I wanted anonymity but at the same time, feedback. Kind (or unkind) souls floating out there in the black that that could connect with my thoughts and tell me I am dead on or clinically insane. Either would be fine. But the way to get readership is to tell people about my blog. I certainly don’t want to tell people I know as that would defeat the whole purpose of having a Secret Blogiary. The other way to gain readers is to post comments on other people’s blogs and hope that my witty words would draw people to my blog. And in that, I have to admit, I’m a little shy. But I’ll certainly give it a whirl.

A Brand New Blog

Dear Secret Blogiary,

Here I am with my very first post. I am so excited that I created you! At last I can blog with freedom. No more worrying about who might see my blogiary, about who might get offended or upset. I can post without fear that if I rant about my family, it won't hurt their feelings. Because as you know, Blogiary, I am very sensitive and empathetic. I just need to be able to express myself and not have it held against me.

Maybe I should tell a little about myself...


I'm a Leo, proud and loyal. I am a mother and wife. I am a teacher. I am full of ideas and grand schemes, but unfortunately, because I am also lazy, I have yet to take over the world. I am in my thirties. I love books, tea, games, camping and crafts.


My hope is that I'll be able to write in my Secret Blogiary every few days, or at least once a week. I have other commitments and time constraints and yet, I really need to make a concentrated effort at posting because it will be a great means of stress relief. And, hey, maybe I'll find out that there are others out there who can relate to my unrelatable bizarre life!