Getting Sloshed

Dear Secret Blogiary,

Mister W. and I don’t drink all that much. Mister W enjoys a beer every now and then. I’ll drink a cocktail occasionally. So we don’t often have a decent supply of alcohol in the house for when we actually do want to drink a little bit more than Crystal Light or milk.

Today after Mister W. got home, we felt like “getting sloshed.” (Trust me, I am such a light weight nine times out of ten I can’t even finish one drink let alone get sloshed!)

Mister W. and I wanted Mudslides, so I took Big Sis with me on a liquor run for company. Somehow, (seriously, it was like one second I was looking for Irish cream and the next I had 7 bottles in my arms) I also ended up with the fixings for Grasshoppers (my favorite!) and a bottle of Amarula (so yummy). I ended up buying far more liquor than I actually needed. Instead of a bag, the cashier gave me a box. Classy.

Big Sis: You are putting that in the trunk, right?

Me: (carrying a box of liquor) That’s why I gave you the keys.

Big Sis: And you aren’t planning on drinking until you get home, right?

Me: That’s the plan. Why?

Big Sis: Just checking.

Me: I haven’t yet progressed to the “lush” stage of my life, Kiddo. You know that, right?

Big Sis: Yeah. (pause to open the trunk) Mom? Where are you going to put all of these bottles?

Me: In the liquor cabinet.

Big Sis: We don’t have a – OH! You mean on top of the fridge?

Me: Yup. The liquor cabinet. Although when I hit the lotto I am totally going to have a real one.

Big Sis: You could buy a mansion and have a whole room for your liquor.

Me: That would be a lot of alcohol. I don’t think-

Big Sis: It could be your “liqourary!”

Me: Huh?

Big Sis: You know! Like a “library” but for your liquor. A Liqourary.

Me: Huh.

Big Sis: What? You don’t like it?

Me: Actually, I think it is brilliant! And then we could alphabetize all the bottles-

Big Sis: And color coordinate them!

Me: You are seriously awesome.


Mister W. and I managed our one (how old we are getting) Mudslide each. He went to bed and I must confess, after only half the glass, I too am ready for bed.

So for the record:

1. I now have enough liquor to last me until at least Christmas and

2. My goal of “getting sloshed” to have wild drunk sex (God where have those days gone?) has epically failed.