Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I'm Sure It Isn't In My Head

Dear Secret Blogiary,

You know how easy it is to tell someone doesn’t like you? Well, I’ve been saying for years now that my boss, Mr. Master of His Own Little Universe, does not like me. I know this to be true although he has never said anything. I wish I could say I was being paranoid but I am really not.

Case in point: Went into work yesterday to start setting up my room and Mr. MoHOLU, glared at me when I walked by his office. Actual exchange:

Me: Good morning, sir, how are you?

MoHOLU: Fine. (rolls eyes)

Me: I’m going to work in my room for a bit.

MoHOLU: Fine. (turns his back to me in dismissal)

Me: (cheerfully) Ok. See you.

I worked in my room for a few hours rearranging furniture and berating myself for forgetting necessary supplies to do more. During set up I found that I had a number of broken chairs and made arrangements with the custodians to remove said chairs.

Conversation with custodian:

Me: Can I borrow the dolly to get rid of these broken chairs?

Custodian: Don’t know where it is. I’ll find it and take the chairs for you.

Me: Thanks! That would be great. I appreciate it.

Custodian: No problem. You know, a lot of the teachers have broken chairs. Really broken ones that could hurt the kids. You know with the metal sticking out and the plastic cracked and jagged.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Custodian: Mr. MoHOLU hasn’t ordered chairs. In fact, there haven’t been chairs ordered since I’ve been here and I’ve been here for seven years. Someone should talk to him about that. (meaningful look in my direction)

Me: Yeah…

Around lunch time I gathered up my belongings and made my way back to the office. Mr. MoHOLU was in his office obviously not doing anything (really, not even being sarcastic there) so I stopped by.

MoHOLU: Yes? (rolling eyes)

Me: How was your summer, sir?

MoHOLU: Fine. Busy. (exasperated sigh)

Me: Oh. That’s…um, I was talking to the custodian about the chairs-

MoHOLU: And. (pointed stare)

Me: Many of the teachers have broken, unusable chairs. I was wondering if-

MoHOLU: I suppose I can look to see if we have some money somewhere to order some new ones. (turns his back to me and begins shuffling through papers)

Me: I –

MoHOLU: Good day.

Me: Oh. Ok. Um, see you tomorrow!

MoHOLU: (grunt or maybe it was a snark)

I am sure that this behavior indicates a dislike. The man has always been rude and condescending to others. Truly he does not have a large fan base. But, I have never treated him with anything but courtesy and respect. He is my boss after all and he is older than me and my mom raised me to be respectful.

I won’t deny that I will question decisions and actions if they don’t make sense to me. I do it as non-confrontational as I can and always phrase my concerns as me not understanding rather than he is an idiot (of which I am now thoroughly convinced). It makes sense that if I don’t understand a “new” policy or procedure, the best way to get me on board with it is to help me to understand why I’m doing it and what result it should have. If I am expected to explain to 13 year olds why they have to learn to write, than it goes that I should get an explanation as to why a procedure that has worked for three long years is suddenly changed and then eliminated altogether.

So for my questioning I am branded as a trouble maker, as insubordinate, as one who deserves less respect and more condescension. What this leaves me thinking…

Oh, this is going to be a long, long year.

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