Saturday, October 23, 2010

Dear Mom

Dear Secret Blogiary,

I had an interesting encounter while I was visiting my mother tonight. And it was bugging me something fierce...not enough to talk to her about it (because as I might have mentioned, I am really not fond of confrontation), but I was bothered enough that I wrote a letter to her, one that she will probably never read. It did accomplish its mission though, for once I wrote it, I felt better.

Dear Mom,

Just because I don’t like something you do, doesn’t mean I’m being contrary.

I don’t like the movies you do. I’m sorry. I haven’t been into mainstream Hollywood for a really long time. When? You ask. Well, around the time that Hollywood just kept recycling garbage and actors like Jim Carey and Adam Sandler became popular. Movies like Wild Hogs destroy my faith in humanity. I am tired of actors thinking that because they are famous they can behave any way they want and get away with it. They have a moral obligation to society to model exemplary behavior because so many of our youth look up to them. Therefore, I boycott a great many movies. I will not give my money to see a movie starring, produced or directed by such people.

And yes, as I have told you before, I am anti-CGI, so please stop asking me to watch Avatar or any other movie with excessive amounts of CGI. George Lucas killed it for me. Too many have misused the technology just because they could, not because it would enhance the movie. And please I won’t even discuss the rash outbreak of 3-D movies that have no right to be 3-D. And let’s clarify another point: just because I don’t like sappy WE T.V. movies does not mean I am not in touch with my emotions it just means I have no tolerance for “women are victims” movies.

Mom, don’t get mad, but I also don’t watch T.V. all that much either and certainly not ghost hunters or UFO hunters or any other paranormal show nor do I appreciate you letting Little Sis watch shows like that, especially since she then comes home and has nightmares about ghosts taking her away.

T.V. comedies are not funny to me.

Reality T.V. is anything but.

Fox News has no concept of “fair and balanced.”

Mom, please keep in mind that I don’t ever get pissy at you when I suggest a movie that you are uninterested in, or a book or a TV show for that matter. I say “okay” and move on with it. But when I say I am not interested in something you like you go out of your way to inform me that I am being contrary, difficult and elitist.

And you’re absolutely right about how I don’t like going to your house. Think about that though, I have never been to your house when the TV wasn’t on. And there isn’t really anything for me to do there. When I try to bring something to do, I get scolded for not socializing and being grumpy, but it is hard to socialize over Glenn Beck.

Here’s what I like to do: I like to read books. I like to work on craft projects with the girls. I like to play board games. I like to spend time with my girls looking at them, not at a T.V. screen. If that makes me elitist and difficult, well, I will just have to accept that label.

Think back, Mom, way back, did I ever once beg you to watch a movie with me? If I did I can’t recall it, but I can recall all the times I begged you to play a game with me or read me a story and I was put off with the claim that you were too tired. I don’t blame you for that, I know you were working, I know money was tight, but the age difference between my siblings often left me by myself so I made do.

I guess the point I am trying to make, Mom, is that I like things you don’t and you like things I don’t. And that’s okay. Just because were different does not mean I love you less or that I am deliberately trying to hurt your feelings. Please stop being so sensitive. I know that you have always yearned to have with me the type of relationship that you had with Grandmother. But you have to admit, we have never had that type of relationship. You and Grandmother were closer in age and liked the exact same things. With only 17 years separating you and your mom you were able to be friends. You could talk to Grandmother in a way that I cannot talk to you. We have over thirty years between us and I have never felt anything but a mother-daughter relationship with you.

I am just me.

You should be proud of me for my moral convictions especially since you were the one who helped  instill them. You should rejoice that I am not mindlessly brainwashed by technology or messages about women that contradict how you raised me. You should be thrilled that I demand more from my entertainment than contrived drivel. And you should be overjoyed that I don’t just believe what I see and hear on the news, that I look for my own answers. You should love that I am raising my children as you raised me: with morals, honesty, and integrity.

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